As a Doctor

Extracting every bit from myself to do a little more for that old fragile gentleman suffering form DKA and sepsis, I have finished my another day of intership in AHNH.

My first week as a doctor has been more or less as expected. Busy. But determined I am, to make myself even more busier. I couldn't help. That's the only way that I can gain some sense of control.

You may find it absurd, but I am still searching still, in every possible way, for the path to become a good doctor, and a good man.

Sorry for any inconvenience that I might have caused. And sorry that I'm not sorry.

Because I am different.



P.S.
From now on, unless I decided to apply for internet connection. This blog is gonna be updatedin a week interval.

the Show must Go on

老豆今天說﹐下個月要退休了
看著雙親頭上的花白﹐強烈的慚愧襲來

是時後要振作了﹐黃任匡。


無論如何
這些年來辛苦了﹐老頭子。

即使沒有說出口﹐其實你是個很成功的父親﹐很成功的男人。在歐洲無憂無慮的日子﹐收到你的電郵說﹕

Money is nothing, spend it whenever you need. It is not always have such opportunity to travel abroad and see the valuable things. I hope you can enrich your mind and have a pleasant experience.

We just wonder if you have enough money for the rest of days, so please don't confine yourself to spend your money.

Enjoy yourself and see you soon

Dad

老豆﹐你實在太型了。

那時後我又再答應自己一次﹐我一定要賺好多好多的錢﹐讓父母親將來退休後也可以這樣無憂無慮的生活。除了讓自己的女人和孩子都能安樂豐足的生活﹐還有能令一個男人更驕傲安慰的事嗎﹖將來的我未必有這個能耐﹐但起碼在事業剛起步的這個時後﹐我不能再懦弱下去。

整整五天的懦弱﹐對我來說是太多了。況且﹐我不是要做 MSF 嗎﹖區區 AHNH﹐又算甚麼了﹗

所以

今天我跟老豆和老媽子告別之後﹐踏著陽光回家時
我笑著向藍天起誓。

Mr Saigon

昨晚在西貢﹐在人工湖和蛙鳴中間﹐我又痛苦地重溫了一次那天的恐怖和不憤。
其實知道﹐你們都不明白﹐但不要緊。起碼這一次﹐我沒有哭了。

一切都會好的
我只是再需要一點時間。





然後今天﹐從大埔火車站“熬”了二十分鐘的非空調巴士﹐終於首次看見了這座傳說中的雅麗咩何咩咩那打素醫院。

新簇簇的院舍﹐座落在一個小山丘上﹐一面向著公共屋村﹐另一面向著一大片的綠色。自從中學畢業﹐考入沙宣大學﹐離開了新界六年。在畢業後的今天﹐我又看見這些青蔥翠綠和黝黑的膚色了。